155: 154 Tap tap tap, tap tap tap tap. The sound of continuously hitting the floor continued. Dane was shaking one leg at tremendous speed. Sitting on the edge of the bed, unable to look straight ahead, with his arms crossed and thighs spread wide, he rolled his eyes to the side while just shaking his leg. Extremely conscious of the green eyes fixed on his face without wavering. Meanwhile, Joshua Bailey, sitting in the only old chair in the room, was glaring at Dane with frightening eyes. He didn't shake his legs or let his gaze wander. His two eyes fixed on Dane's face were so menacing they seemed ready to split him in half if he made a wrong move. From the time he let Joshua into the room until now, the two had been sitting like that without saying a single word. One glaring, and the other trying somehow to avoid that gaze. Haa, in the end, it was Dane who raised his hands first. "…I'm sorry." At the apology that flowed out suddenly, Joshua twitched one eyebrow. What if he interrogates me about what I'm sorry for, Dane briefly feared, but fortunately Joshua didn't do that. "What the hell happened?" He opened his mouth with a thoroughly angry face. "I told you to kidnap Greyson, so why did you fall in love?" At the sharp questioning, Dane jumped up and denied it. "First, I admit the commission failed. But falling in love is wrong." Though he denied it with a serious face, Joshua's face was full of distrust. Dane braced himself and waited for his next words. Whatever he said, he had his response ready. Anyway, whatever Joshua was imagining would definitely be wrong. "You slept with Lora too." Suddenly Joshua threw out an unexpected statement. At the out-of-nowhere comment, Dane, who had just been blinking, frowned belatedly and asked. "Who?" Joshua clenched the hand he had casually placed on his thigh. Soon after, darkening his green eyes, he spat through gritted teeth. "Chase's secretary, at my wedding!" "Aah…" Only then did Dane recall the memory. Right, that happened. He didn't remember if her name was Lora, but it was probably right. Dane shrugged and defended himself. "I was bored to death, so there had to be some event like that." Having spoken carefreely as usual, he belatedly came to his senses and hurriedly added. "Not that your wedding was boring, but the singer you invited was boring…" "Chase invited them, not me." Joshua blocked the desperate excuse. Then he struck at the core mercilessly. "And honestly, if that singer had been your type, you definitely wouldn't have been bored, right? You would have slept with the singer instead of Lora!" No, knowing Dane, he might have slept with both. He was more than capable of that. Joshua had experienced this man's promiscuity firsthand. While deliberately ignoring the fact that he himself had been part of that promiscuous scene. Of course, Dane also wanted to point out that fact, but it wasn't the mood for it. Anyway, there was no excuse for doing such things at someone else's wedding. "Yeah, I'm sorry." Dane, who apologized readily, scratched the back of his head. "I didn't know you noticed. You looked busy." Of course, the reason Joshua had noticed was different. He had been constantly monitoring Dane, worried that his sister Emma might hit it off with him. But unexpectedly, he disappeared with Chase's secretary. Only then did Joshua breathe a sigh of relief. How fortunate that Emma had different tastes from most women. Otherwise, she would have definitely been caught by this promiscuous man. Who would have thought I'd be relieved by her pathetic taste for weaklings. "So, what are you going to do?" Joshua asked again. He added with cold eyes as if he knew everything. "You slept with Greyson, right? What are you going to do now?" "Ahem, cough." As expected, Joshua knew Dane too well. Well, it was natural since they had been glued together from their army days and even after becoming civilians, living an indescribably promiscuous life for a certain period. Does this guy also think I bottomed for Greyson? Dane suddenly became curious. Joshua knew that Dane was an Omega. Because of the fact that he was an Omega with a lower body more promiscuous than extreme Alphas, the two had bonded even more. Though he doesn't know about being an extreme Omega… Joshua was a heterosexual to his bones who only dealt with women. On the other hand, Dane didn't discriminate between women and men even then, and because Joshua had seen him hunt good-looking Alphas and penetrate them from behind several times, he probably wouldn't rule out the possibility that Greyson had been the bottom. But what's important isn't who topped and who bottomed. Right now, Joshua only cared about the fact that the two had slept together. Dane couldn't hide his uncomfortable expression and averted his gaze from him again. "There were unavoidable circumstances." "So what are you going to do?" It was an overly condensed statement, but it was also the whole truth. If heat cycles could be controlled at will, Dane wouldn't have been born into this world in the first place. "Look…" At Joshua's continued pressing, he opened his mouth in a deflated voice. "You know too, I don't have serious relationships with anyone." "Just slept together? With Greyson Miller of all people?" "It may be hard to believe, but that's the truth." Looking at Joshua's face still full of distrust, Dane said. "And there won't be any reason to meet again." * * * Cold night wind brushed past their cheeks. They stood frozen, glaring at each other in silence. "Ugh, gah, gah-ugh…" The man being strangled by Greyson finally stopped struggling, perhaps losing consciousness. At his appearance gasping and making choking sounds, Ezra screamed, turning pale. "Let him go now! This isn't a joke, I'll really shoot!" After threatening by waving the gun once, he soon changed his tone as if pleading. "Please, Miller. I don't want to do this either. Just follow along quietly. He promised me he wouldn't harm your life. So please let that guy go, hurry." Despite his repeated words, Greyson's reaction was indifferent. Still with an expressionless face, as if bored to death, he opened his mouth. "What's it to me, you idiot…" For a moment, everyone froze. Ezra remained in his position pointing the gun, and the guys trying to take Greyson stood with their mouths agape in confusion. But it was the truth. How dare they threaten Greyson Miller. And what did he care about Ezra's request? There were only two people on Earth to whom he would obediently bow his head. His father Ashley Miller and Dane Striker. They were neither of those two. But what? Let him go? Greyson twisted up the corner of his mouth and mocked him. "Shoot, I don't care." "Millerrrrr!" Ezra screamed. Could there be such a pathetic sight? But Greyson neither mocked nor pitied him. Literally, he felt nothing. To him, Ezra's existence was no different from the trash can lying fallen behind them. Greyson turned his head again. Looking up at the man barely holding on, he thought. Should I just break his neck like this? Just as he thought that far. Bang, a loud sound echoed. Huh? At the unfamiliar sensation, Greyson blinked. His cheek felt hot for some reason. Feeling something flowing down, he raised his remaining hand to wipe it and looked down to see a vivid red color. The bullet had grazed his cheek. Slowly turning around, Greyson saw a man pointing a gun barrel at him. Ezra, who had been desperately pleading just moments before, was trembling while pointing the smoking gun barrel at Greyson. "I'm serious. I don't know where I'll shoot next, so listen to me." "…Huh." Greyson let out a short exclamation as he looked down at him. Ezra, with his face frozen pale, shouted again. "Miller! Do as you're told, quickly!" …Should I kill that bastard first? Irritation was rising to the point of anger. As he contorted his eyebrows, Ezra apologized with eyes full of tears. "I'm sorry, if I don't do this, Sandra will die. I'm sorry, please just follow along…"
jueves, 1 de octubre de 2026
154: 153
The quality of the bed was also terrible. The short length was a common
occurrence so he could overlook that, but the creaking sounds from
somewhere on the bed every time he moved and the mattress that seemed
no different from the floor in its hardness interfered with his sleep every
moment. Because of this, when he opened his eyes in the morning, fatigue
was layered upon fatigue, making it difficult to get up.
How did I live here before?
He had the same thought every morning. The changed environment wasn't
the only problem. When he came home after work, after simply finishing
what needed to be done, he went to clubs every 2-3 days without fail. In the
past, by now he would have been going to a club thinking about who to
sleep with today. But what about now? Wasn't he lying alone with his cat in
a cheap hotel, looking at stains on the ceiling?
This feeling of helplessness was a first. Not wanting to do anything and just
wanting to lie down. If the bed had been very comfortable, he might not
have gone to work. At least this terrible bed pushing at his back was
fortunate in a different sense.
This won't do.
Dane, who had been lying there blankly, carefully got up so as not to startle
his cat. He drove out and arrived at a convenience store attached to a gas
station. After buying several cans of beer and returning, he sat in a chair
and gulped down the cold drink, emptying it in one go. Today he planned to
drink until he got drunk. He had bought plenty, so he would fall asleep
before finishing them all.
As he was gulping down the second can, the empty parking lot suddenly
came into view. The sparsely lit streetlights weren't even proper ones – they
were either flickering or barely giving off dim light as if their lifespan was
about to end. Dane, who was frowning and drinking beer again, suddenly
felt a strange sensation.
…Come to think of it.
153: 152 "Puhaa." Greyson, who had stuck his head out of the water, checked the electronic clock outside the pool while gasping for breath. 3 minutes 2 seconds. He floated in the water and caught his breath for a while. Once he calmed down somewhat, he planned to challenge the record again. Since it was already the fourth time, the record was getting shorter and shorter. Even though he hadn't caught his breath yet, he plunged his head back into the water. It was a reflexive action the moment Dane came to mind. While holding his breath, he could avoid thinking about other things. Because he would focus all his nerves entirely on maintaining life. However, unfortunately, this method was also gradually reaching its limit. "Hwaa." Coming back out of the water while feeling like his lungs would burst, he gasped and looked for the clock. When he learned that barely over a minute had passed, he had no choice but to admit it. That he should stop diving too. As he got out of the pool with his tired body, Alex, who was always wandering around, approached him. He gently petted the dog that was panting and showing affection, then headed to the sun bed. The dog naturally followed him and lay down within arm's reach. It was a familiar act they had been doing for a long time. When Greyson lay on the sun bed, Alex would always lie down in a position within reach. And he would enjoy the owner consistently scratching his head and fall into leisurely rest. When he scratched his head as always, the dog closed his eyes comfortably and curled up on the ground. As Alex aged, he spent more time sleeping. He often dozed even normally, but even in the midst of that, he would always be happy to see Greyson and hover around, trying to be by his side. It would have been nice if Dane was as simple as this guy. Seeing how he had completely fallen for Dane and wagged his tail over just one can, he suddenly felt absurd. The guy who ate my Diana. He frowned for no reason, feeling annoyed, but seeing him peacefully wagging his tail slowly left and right with his eyes closed, he just didn't care anymore. What is Dane doing? Naturally, his thoughts flowed in one direction. Now tired of forcing himself to turn his thoughts away by cornering himself, he just let them float up as they came. At this time, he would have gotten off work by now. Is he at that cheap hotel drinking tasteless beer? After getting off work, he would take care of his cat, then shower, drink beer, and sleep. Going home together, drinking beer, chatting about this and that, and falling asleep seemed like a dream. Come to think of it, Dane had promised many things, but what would happen to all of that? Liar, it was all lies. Greyson cursed him inwardly. He must have intended to do this from the beginning. Even though he had no intention of keeping his promises from the start, he made people hopeful, dragged out time for no reason, and planned to overturn everything at the last minute like this. Deceiving innocent me. He recognized himself as a pure victim as always. He had done his best, but instead of being appreciated, his efforts were exploited and abandoned – what a terrible person. Son of a bitch, trash, used condom… … Is he looking for someone new to spend tonight with by now? While feeling relieved to have escaped from me. He suddenly stopped at the sensation touching his hand. When he looked down, he saw Alex licking Greyson's fingers. He quietly watched the dog and then turned his gaze to the pool. His gaze that returned stayed on the dog a little longer. "Alex, what do you think would happen if Dane came to your funeral?" At the gentle voice, Alex raised his head. Since he heard his name, it was just a reflexive action – he probably didn't understand the content. Greyson smiled slightly while quietly watching him tilt his head to one side and blink. That wouldn't work after all. In the past, he would have done so without hesitation. Just to meet Dane again. But now it's different. Because he now knows what reaction Dane would show if he found out the truth after doing such a thing. For the same reason as when he saved his ugly cat from the flames, he dismissed the thought that came to mind. Even though the probability of Dane learning the truth was almost zero. "Good boy, Alex." Greyson, who lightly rubbed his nose against the dog's nose, petted his head and then headed into the house. Alex made a whimpering sound but couldn't follow. Because the dog was trained not to enter the house. Instead, Alex, who had stood in that spot until Greyson disappeared, turned around and headed to his own house. Alex, who entered the building that Greyson had built for the dog – which Dane would surely have grumbled about being bigger and more luxurious than the house he lived in if he had seen it – lay down on the cleanly cleaned bed and yawned lazily. And he fell into comfortable sleep as usual, completely unaware of what had just happened. * * * "Damn extreme Alpha." Greyson spat out curses with a furious face. He had already emptied half a bottle of whiskey straight, but he wasn't drunk at all. No matter how strong a drinker someone was, they would be pleasantly drunk by this amount, but his mind remained perfectly clear. It was because of his damn phenotype. Whether he took drugs or drank alcohol, he just wouldn't get intoxicated. There were drugs or drinks developed for people like them, but to get those, he would have to go to Steward's laboratory. And he would excitedly ask all sorts of questions. Why do you need this, what will you use it for, tell me what the effects are like, I never thought Greyson Miller would come to get this drug, and various other noisy chatter. "Fuck, it's like being a beggar." He cursed again and poured more alcohol. Even though he knew it was meaningless, he kept pouring it down perhaps because of the hope that someday he might get drunk. It was a long time ago, but he heard that Keith had done the same when Yeonwoo left. There were even rumors that he might become the first extreme Alpha to die from alcoholism. If I die, would Dane come to my funeral? That was a much more efficient idea than Alex dying. Dane would definitely come. And he would regret it. He would never forget me for the rest of his life. Just like his mother. Dane's mother, that damn woman. Anger welled up in his mind as he had been excitedly imagining Dane crying and regretting at his funeral. If only that woman hadn't died like that. No, if only she hadn't hit and tormented Dane, he wouldn't have rejected me like that. It was infuriating to the point of madness that she was already dead. Fuck, he emptied the remaining glass in one gulp with another curse. Just as he was about to pour more alcohol, suddenly his mobile phone rang. He, who had been pitifully drinking alone in the snack bar where he used to eat and drink with Dane, froze for a moment. Could it be? With mixed feelings of anticipation, excitement, and anxiety, he hurriedly checked the caller and soon frowned. Greyson looked down at his phone with a face full of disappointment and annoyance for a moment, then finally pressed the answer button. "What?" At his curt words, the other party said something. Greyson, who had been listening silently while pouring alcohol, stopped. "…What did you say?" He quietly placed the liquor bottle on the bar table and stopped moving. The man continued to chatter on alone to the silently listening Greyson. Greyson just listened quietly. After the man's urgent words ended, a brief silence flowed. Greyson, who had thought of countless things in his mind, opened his mouth with a short sigh. "Got it, I'll come now." As soon as he hung up, he turned around and quickly walked out of the snack bar almost at a run. Behind him, only a whiskey glass not even half full remained lonely. * * * The screams of a drunk man could be heard close by as if shouting right next to him. Soundproofing was something you couldn't expect from a cheap hotel in the first place. From somewhere else, moans and thumping sounds could be heard, as if a couple was having sex. In such headache-inducing noise, Dane was lying alone on the bed, looking at the ceiling with an empty face. Fortunately, Darling, who couldn't hear, had settled between Dane's armpits and was making purring sounds. Dane habitually stroked Darling's body. It had already been over a week since he came to this hotel. Indeed, the human body was fickle. It was a hotel he had stayed at right after the fire, but after spending 3 months at Greyson's house and coming here, he was shocked, wondering if this place had been this terrible.
152: 151
Heavy silence descended. Greyson stared at Dane without even blinking.
His profile, fixed on one wall in a daze, remained expressionless, making it
impossible to read his emotions.
"After she died…"
Dane spoke again.
"I met my maternal grandparents for the first time. That's how I learned
how I was born."
Bitterness spread across his face. Dane, who let out a deep breath as if his
chest was tight, contorted his brow. As if confessing the truth was
extremely difficult, he kept his mouth tightly shut and couldn't bring
himself to speak at all. Only after sweeping his forehead with one hand and
letting out a heavy breath did he finally confess. In a completely cracked
voice.
"On the day she had her heat cycle, she was raped by strangers."
Greyson's eyes wavered. Dane continued in a still low, sunken voice.
"They caught the perpetrators. But they said she wanted it. Because my
mother was in heat cycle, the court accepted their testimony. My mother
said it was rape, but her testimony was inconsistent and deemed unreliable,
so it was dismissed. I guess it couldn't be helped since she was in heat
cycle. Both that my mother's memory wasn't clear, and that the court didn't
recognize it as rape."
The single truth that pierced through the opposing claims was the fact that
she was an Omega. And that she was in heat cycle.
"I don't know either, which side is the truth. What's certain is that she got
pregnant from that incident… and gave birth to me."
151: 150 Dane suddenly wanted to smoke. Whenever he recalled that day, a bitter taste would circle in his mouth as always. You might be right. Dane thought. But did you need to hurt me that much? Instead of smoking, he held his mouth and chin with one hand and slowly rubbed them. He felt like the corners of his eyes were heating up. In everything, he came to realize that she didn't love him. During the time he lived with his mother, he was therefore tormented to death every moment. To a child, parents are everything in the world. Who would understand the feeling of being rejected by the world? But his mother had forgotten even that. After sobering up from drinking, she would say she loved him as always and kiss Dane, and Dane would look at her in confusion. The mother who had spoken such hurtful words to him the night before was now holding Dane more affectionately than anyone in the world, whispering that he was her one and only treasure. Which side was sincere? The drunk side must be sincere. Though he thought this, inwardly he wanted to believe otherwise. Because of this, instead of confirming his mother's true feelings, he chose to follow her lead in saying he loved her and embracing her. Even while his heart was completely tangled with anxiety and distrust. "I was just a child, so I had no choice. Even if I left home recklessly, I would only become a gang member or homeless." He spoke indifferently, missing his cigarette. "So I had no choice but to stay in that house, constantly wondering what my mother's true feelings were." Greyson just waited for his next words without saying anything. Barely restraining himself from wanting to embrace him right now and shout that here was someone who loved him more than anyone in the world. * * * Around the time his 13th birthday was approaching, Dane Striker was making quite a precocious plan. It was a plan to marry his girlfriend as soon as they graduated high school and become independent. She was his first girlfriend whom he had started dating a few years ago, and they had shared their first kiss. During that time, he had worked part-time jobs during every vacation and saved a little money. It was a ridiculously small amount for independence, but if he saved until graduation, it would be quite substantial. Going to the military wouldn't be bad either… That place was perfect for someone in Dane's situation. The treatment was good and he could earn decent money, so he could set up housekeeping in base housing. Of course, his girlfriend's opinion was important, so they needed to discuss that part too. First comes money. Thinking this, Dane headed to a fast food restaurant quite far from his neighborhood as soon as class ended. Actually, considering his age, getting such a part-time job was almost impossible. At least since he had given up on studying early, he had plenty of time, and so he had found a place where he could work after school like this. The manager seemed to like Dane's work ethic and even said he would hire him as a full-time employee after graduation. Of course, Dane just smiled and thanked him. "Hi, Dane. Welcome." The manager who greeted him warmly immediately started giving him work as soon as Dane came out in uniform. "Move that bread over here, organize the patties… Oh, the trash can in the back is full. Empty that too…" He quickly performed the flood of requests. The manager watched with satisfaction as the tasks were completed in an instant. An employee frowned and scolded him. "Take it easy on the kid, he doesn't look well." "He doesn't look well? Dane?" The manager asked in surprise. She still looked at Dane with a serious expression and said. "Look, his face is redder than usual. It seems like he has a fever?" "Really? That won't do! It would be terrible if he spread a virus!" The employee was dumbfounded at the manager rushing to Dane, turning pale. "A person is sick and really…" She shook her head when a customer happened to arrive. She stood in front of the register with a professional smile. "Welcome, what can I get you?" Behind her, the manager looked around for Dane and soon found him outside the back door. "Dane, Dane!" At the urgent call, Dane, who had been emptying trash, turned around puzzled. The manager was walking busily toward him with a pale face. Coming close, he examined Dane's face and body here and there, then muttered to himself. "That's right, his face is so red…" "Excuse me?" Not knowing what he was talking about, Dane frowned, when suddenly the manager reached out his hand. The manager, who had touched the forehead of Dane who had flinched and hunched his shoulders in surprise, opened his eyes wide and hurriedly pulled his hand away. "Wh-what? You have a fever! You're burning up, are you okay?" "A fever?" Dane blinked and was about to touch his forehead with his own hand when he realized he had just emptied trash and hesitated. The manager immediately waved one hand with a contorted face and said. "Never mind, go home now. Don't come to work until your fever breaks, okay?" "What? But…" Just as he was about to say he didn't feel sick at all, the manager cut him off. "What if you spread a virus? We might get sued! Go home right now, hurry! Quick!" Because of the repeated urging, Dane had no choice but to be practically chased out of the store. He looked back at the store in bewilderment, but they even closed the door in front of him as if to make a point, so there was no other way. "What…?" He irritably touched his forehead but only felt a slight fever and couldn't find anything strange. He grumbled as he rode his bicycle home. Cool wind brushed past his cheeks as he rode. His body seemed to be getting gradually languid. Did I catch a cold…? Dane vaguely thought. His body kept getting heavier. He wanted to hurry home and rest. When he finally pedaled with difficulty and the apartment where he lived came into view, he unconsciously let out a sigh of relief. Whew. Unlike usual, he didn't even shower and just lay down on the sofa in the clothes he was wearing. For some reason, he didn't want to move a finger. He could sleep for a bit and then do it. Just for a moment, yeah… His thoughts cut off there. He fell into deep sleep without even realizing it. Dane woke up several hours later because he felt the agony of someone strangling his neck. "Gak, gak-huk, gak." He barely opened his eyes while letting out agonized breaths. In the darkness, he could see someone mounted on top of him. Dane desperately blinked his eyes, but it wasn't easy to figure out who it was. In the darkness, only a faint silhouette was visible. But actually, he didn't need to confirm with his eyes. Because there was only one person who would enter this cheap apartment and strangle the sleeping Dane. …It can't be. Nevertheless, Dane denied it. It can't be Mother. Tears reflexively formed in his eyes. He wanted to remove the hands strangling his neck, but his body wouldn't gain strength. He slipped his hands several times trying to grab his mother's arms. Meanwhile, the force strangling his neck was tremendous. Whether she was pouring all her energy into choking her son's throat, Dane couldn't escape the incredible grip strength. Gak, gak, making choking sounds as he writhed below, his mother spoke to her son. "How, how could you do this to me…" She was sobbing. Following the violently shaking voice, cold teardrops fell onto Dane's face. "How could you manifest as an Omega, how could you too." Huu-uk, huu-uuk, she burst into tears with rougher breathing than Dane. "Dane, my baby. You'd be better off dead." Huu-uuu, a sharp breathing sound like a whistle could be heard. His mother bent down and whispered in the ear of her son who was on the verge of losing consciousness. Let's die together. That was the last thing Dane heard from his mother. When Dane, who had completely lost consciousness, opened his eyes, the manifestation was over. And his mother's life was also over. He just stared at his mother's corpse, who had hanged herself from the window frame while sitting on the very sofa where he had been sleeping, where his mother had strangled him.
150: 149
"Dane."
She tightly embraced her son who had run to her with joy. His mother
briefly frowned at the child's dirty face covered in dirt, but soon spoke
nonchalantly.
"Did you play well? Are you hungry? Let's go inside and eat."
She went up the stairs holding a paper bag with a few vegetables in one
hand and her son's hand in the other. Dane waved to his friend who was left
alone and went into the apartment.
Thin soup with vegetable scraps floating in it and bread was the meal they
often ate. Dane's mother didn't have a steady job, so her income was
meager, and because of this, she lived with difficulty, dividing and
subdividing what little money she had. The fortunate thing was that her son
wasn't particularly picky.
"Come on, eat up."
His mother, who had boiled the soup and set it down with bread, sat in the
seat across from the table. Dane tore the bread, dipped it in the soup, put it
in his mouth, and smiled broadly. At her son's admirable appearance, his
mother smiled affectionately and stroked his head.
"I love you, Dane."
"Me too. I love you, Mom."
They smiled at each other across the small, old, scarred table.
* * *
"She was a good person, my mother."
Dane continued in a tone where almost no emotion could be felt.
"Even though circumstances were difficult, she did her best to raise me. She
constantly told me she loved me and gave me kisses generously. When she
went out to work, she would hug me so tight it felt like my body would
burst. I waited for my mother all day, but it was okay. When she came back,
I became happier than the time I had waited. Even now I think, she wasn't a
perfect mother, but she was at least a decent mother."
A bitter smile spread across Dane's face.
"If only she hadn't drunk."
* * *
"Aaaaaaahhhhh!"
His mother screamed and threw things from the table wildly. At the sight of
her hitting her head against the wall and screaming, Dane crouched in a
corner and burst into tears.
"M-Mom, Mommy…"
No matter how much he called, she didn't return to being the usual
affectionate mother. Instead, she glared at Dane with bloodshot eyes and
started punching wildly.
"It's because of you! Because of you!"
"Mommy, Mommyyy…"
"If only you hadn't existed, if you, if you just hadn't been born…!"
Thud, thud, loud sounds echoed. Dane covered his head and tried to curl his
body as much as possible to avoid the beating, but it wasn't enough to block
the pouring violence. The beating continued all night long. Until she
collapsed on the floor drunk and fell asleep. By then, Dane was usually
unconscious from exhaustion too.
When dawn broke hazily and Dane regained consciousness first, he led his
heavy body, swollen and bruised all over, blinking eyes that wouldn't open
properly, toward the bed. He pulled over the old sheet to cover his mother's
body and carefully crept into her arms, then belatedly felt pain all over his
body. But Dane closed his eyes and desperately pressed his body against his
mother's. And he forced himself to sleep, waiting only for his mother to
wake up. Because then his mother would return to being the woman who
loved Dane as usual.
"Dane…!"
As expected, when she opened her eyes, she first checked her child in her
arms and burst into tears.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Dane… I'm sorry."
His mother, who apologized repeatedly and showered him with kisses,
looked into Dane's face and said.
"You know how much I love you, right?"
Yes, Dane nodded. He wanted to cry from the pain, but he desperately held
back. Because this moment when his mother held him like this and told him
she loved him was so happy. And holding his side that hurt every time he
breathed with his hand, he saw off his mother going to work. He couldn't go
outside for a while now. Since it was already a familiar routine, Dane didn't
think much of it. He just had to take the medicine his mother gave him and
sleep. After swallowing the medicine and water as usual, Dane lay on the
bed and closed his eyes. The daily routine that had been repeated many
times continued once again.
* * *
Greyson looked at Dane, pale as a sheet. He couldn't believe what he had
heard. He checked Dane's expressionless face directed at him once more.
There was no sign of joking or lying at all.
"…You were beaten?"
He barely managed to say these words. Greyson, who couldn't continue
speaking while pressing his forehead with one hand, just opened and closed
his mouth before finally making a sound.
"Your mother, she hit you? A child not even 10 years old…?"
"There's nothing so surprising about it. It was common where I lived."
Dane replied indifferently. At the reaction so contrasting with his own,
Greyson was stunned once again. So that's how it was. Past events came to
mind in his dazed head. That's why Dane had asked him so many times.
Whether Ashley Miller had hit him.
"Un-until when, how much."
Greyson stammered unusually. I want to kill her. Greyson felt a more
intense desire than ever before. He couldn't suppress the urge to find the
woman who had hit and hurt Dane right now and strangle her.
Pheromones full of hostility flowed from his entire body. But it was a
meaningless act. Dane was continuing to speak in the past tense. That
meant probably, she was…
Thinking that far, Greyson released his tightly clenched fists in futility. The
thick pheromone scent that had been wandering around also became faint in
an instant.
Dane looked at him with an unfamiliar feeling and answered.
"Until about 4th grade? I was much bigger than my peers and grew fast."
Dane chuckled as if recalling the past.
"It means the time to rebel had come."
* * *
"Stop it already!"
Dane shouted with veins bulging in his neck. He was sick of it now. Once
again, his mother was drunk and causing a scene. Before the bruises from
the last beating had even faded, Dane had his hair grabbed and his cheek
slapped.
"Fucking bastard, dirty kid! If you hadn't been born, if you, if only you
hadn't existed!"
"I said stop it!"
Dane shouted until his voice was hoarse and pushed his mother with all his
strength. Perhaps because she was drunk, she staggered backward. Her face,
flushed red from alcohol, was frozen as if confused. Even though she was
dead drunk and not in her right mind, she seemed quite shocked that her
son, who had been docile until now, had pushed her away. Dane looked at
her blank face and shouted again.
"You're going to wake up tomorrow morning and babble about loving me
again! Stop it, I'm too tired now too!"
Then tears mixed into his voice.
"Can't we, can't we also live like other families? Can't you love me like
other parents do? Can't I also live normally, like other kids?"
The bodies of many children he met at school were fine without any traces
of beatings. Only Dane had bruises all over his body every single day
without fail. Even his friend's father who had been to prison didn't beat his
child, so why me.
Why only me.
"Mother, please love me…"
Like other kids.
Just as he said this pleadingly.
"Kuk, kuk kuk, kuk kuk kuk kuk."
His mother laughed, shaking her shoulders. At the unexpected reaction,
Dane blinked in confusion. She giggled and muttered.
"Looove? You want me to love you? You?"
Then she frowned and asked.
"Whyyy should I do thaaaat?"
At the heavily slurred pronunciation, Dane opened and closed his mouth
before answering.
"Because you're my mom…"
"What?"
Then she burst into loud laughter. Ahahahaha, ahahahahaha, aahahahahaha.
The sharp laughter felt like it would tear his ears. When Dane contorted his
face and covered one ear, his mother, who had been bending over laughing,
barely stopped laughing and asked.
"Why should I do that?"
Strangely, for the first time, her mind, which had been completely drunk
until then, felt clearly focused. Her pronunciation was also clear. When the
confused Dane blinked, his mother asked with a snicker.
"That's ridiculous, isn't the idea that parents should love their children also
just a prejudice?"
Kil kil kil, kil kil kil kil. She shook her shoulders and laughed again. She
was mocking Dane. Dane, who clenched his trembling hands tightly, asked
between gasping breaths.
"Then why did you give birth to me?"
His vision became hazily blurred. At Dane's choked voice, she answered.
"You came into existence on your own."
Dane could no longer say anything. His mother drank again, shouted,
smashed things, and collapsed on the floor to sleep. Dane just looked down
silently at her as she slept, snoring. He didn't bring a sheet as usual, nor did
he crawl into her arms.